“depth and substance. the two most exquisite qualities. Be it in a poem or a person.” ― Sanober Khan
Lately, I seem to be on a soul-searching path. I am not sure exactly what I am looking for because I really do have more than any one person deserves. I have a life to be proud of, a family that loves each other and a love that time itself would lay down and be still for. And there are hopes and expectations of an amazing future. I am happy. So, what on Earth am I searching for? I can sum it up in one word…SUBSTANCE.
But what I wonder is, do people know what I mean by “substantial”. Let me give you my definition of what it means to have substance in your life. In my mind, substance is that thing that makes you stand a little taller, feel little more proud. Substance is the thing that makes other people look at you and think “wow, she’s got it together”. It is the feeling of purpose. And the warmth of pride that comes with a well-lived substantial life.
Sounds Good But How?
First, you must define your own definition of substance. Let me say that again. YOUR OWN DEFINITION OF SUBSTANCE! Afterall, that is what we should strive to measure ourselves against. Why? Because peace and contentment come from within. It comes from living up to our own standards. Not some predetermined idea of what is normal and acceptable. Why is this important? Because only in our own idea of normal and acceptable can we will find our own definition of substance. And, in turn, become a woman of substance.
Ok! But How To I Figure Out What Substantial Means To Me?
There are some steps you can follow to start your journey.
Figure out what needs to change
This is the most difficult. Being honest with ourselves, about ourselves, is never easy. You have to remember that this is about you. So be honest with yourself. Figure out your flaws. Are you non-committal? Have you lost friends because you are shy? For some, it is trust issues that hold them back from being the substantial person that they want to be. The good news is there is nothing you cannot fix. Once you have an idea of what you would like to work on all you have to do is…
You are on a journey to find something, right? Then commit to it. It is your want, your need, make it a priority in your life. Set your goals and work towards them with purpose. The only way to grow is to change. We all fear change, so to make this work you have to commit to trying to overcome that fear. Commit to looking past what you think you know and open your mind to new things. I know change is one of the scariest things in this world. But in the end, it is worth living through the fear and doubt to become the person you want to be. So, make a plan and stick with it. You will thank yourself in the end. Now, remember…
Slow change is the best change.
Every personal quest comes to the point of actually making those changes. For most of us, this is the most overwhelming part of the process. You have all these ideas and great intentions. But where in the world to start. Anywhere. The answer is anywhere. The point is to start. Find the easiest change to make and make it. Wake up and hour early. Spend an hour a day reading. Put 10 dollars every pay in your savings. It does not matter what you do, but start small. Why? Because there is no incentive in the world like success. So, when you accomplish the little things, the big things seem a little more within your reach. I know, no you are thinking “but what if I stumble?” All you have to do is…
Get back up.
Notice that I said stumble, not fall. Falling is not an option. Falling means staying down. Women of substance never stay down for long. We stumble, trip and sometimes stagger, but we do not lose moment for long.
“…a woman transforms into a woman of substance the moment she decides to stand again and walk on the path of her goals with focus and courage. Failure comes in the way of success. It is the proof that you’re doing something for yourself…”—Divyanka Krna
I recently read and article called How To Be A Woman Of Substance? 5 Must Have Qualities. Author and woman-empowering blogger Divyanka Krna addresses failure in the most empowering way. She says, “everyone has to face some sort of failure in their life”. But what you have to realize is that it is NEVER THE FAILURE THAT DEFINES YOU. It isn’t even the way you handle yourself that defines you. It is what you learn and how you grow afterward that will define us as a true woman of substance. The key is to never stop trying. Perseverance is another main key to becoming a woman of substance.
It’s A Great Start…Now What
We have to find the desire to become substantial women. Women that other people look up to and can learn from. We also have got to realize that failure is nothing more than a stepping stone to success. Not a defining characteristic of who we are, or who we will become.
Contentment is a great place to be but sometimes we become stagnant. We lose the forward momentum that allows us to grow into a more complete version of ourselves. Now that you have the desire and motivation to live a more substantial, purpose-driven life, take some time, go through the steps and enjoy the journey you have found yourself on.
What Do You Think?
I would love to know what you think about this. What steps have you taken to lead a more substantial life? Have you been inspired by a strong substantial woman? What was it about them that inspired you? You the form below to let me know your thoughts. I would love to help you share your story.