The Substantial Woman: Finding Your Inner Substance 36


Substantial Woman

“depth and substance. the two most exquisite qualities. Be it in a poem or a person.” ― Sanober Khan

 
Lately, I seem to be on a soul-searching path. I am not sure exactly what I am looking for because I really do have more than any one person deserves. I have a life to be proud of, a family that loves each other and a love that time itself would lay down and be still for. And there are hopes and expectations of an amazing future. I am happy. So, what on Earth am I searching for? I can sum it up in one word…SUBSTANCE.
 
But what I wonder is, do people know what I mean by “substantial”. Let me give you my definition of what it means to have substance in your life. In my mind, substance is that thing that makes you stand a little taller, feel little more proud. Substance is the thing that makes other people look at you and think “wow, she’s got it together”. It is the feeling of purpose. And the warmth of pride that comes with a well-lived substantial life.
 

Sounds Good But How?

First, you must define your own definition of substance. Let me say that again. YOUR OWN DEFINITION OF SUBSTANCE! Afterall, that is what we should strive to measure ourselves against. Why? Because peace and contentment come from within. It comes from living up to our own standards. Not some predetermined idea of what is normal and acceptable. Why is this important? Because only in our own idea of normal and acceptable can we will find our own definition of substance. And, in turn, become a woman of substance.
 

Ok! But How To I Figure Out What Substantial Means To Me?

There are some steps you can follow to start your journey.

Figure out what needs to change

This is the most difficult. Being honest with ourselves, about ourselves, is never easy. You have to remember that this is about you. So be honest with yourself. Figure out your flaws. Are you non-committal? Have you lost friends because you are shy? For some, it is trust issues that hold them back from being the substantial person that they want to be. The good news is there is nothing you cannot fix. Once you have an idea of what you would like to work on all you have to do is…

Commit

You are on a journey to find something, right? Then commit to it. It is your want, your need, make it a priority in your life. Set your goals and work towards them with purpose. The only way to grow is to change. We all fear change, so to make this work you have to commit to trying to overcome that fear. Commit to looking past what you think you know and open your mind to new things. I know change is one of the scariest things in this world. But in the end, it is worth living through the fear and doubt to become the person you want to be. So, make a plan and stick with it. You will thank yourself in the end. Now, remember…
 

Slow change is the best change.

Every personal quest comes to the point of actually making those changes. For most of us, this is the most overwhelming part of the process. You have all these ideas and great intentions. But where in the world to start. Anywhere. The answer is anywhere. The point is to start. Find the easiest change to make and make it. Wake up and hour early. Spend an hour a day reading. Put 10 dollars every pay in your savings. It does not matter what you do, but start small. Why? Because there is no incentive in the world like success. So, when you accomplish the little things, the big things seem a little more within your reach. I know, no you are thinking “but what if I stumble?” All you have to do is…
 

Get back up.

Notice that I said stumble, not fall. Falling is not an option. Falling means staying down. Women of substance never stay down for long. We stumble, trip and sometimes stagger, but we do not lose moment for long.
“…a woman transforms into a woman of substance the moment she decides to stand again and walk on the path of her goals with focus and courage. Failure comes in the way of success. It is the proof that you’re doing something for yourself…”—Divyanka Krna
I recently read and article called How To Be A Woman Of Substance? 5 Must Have Qualities. Author and woman-empowering blogger Divyanka Krna addresses failure in the most empowering way. She says, “everyone has to face some sort of failure in their life”. But what you have to realize is that it is NEVER THE FAILURE THAT DEFINES YOU. It isn’t even the way you handle yourself that defines you. It is what you learn and how you grow afterward that will define us as a true woman of substance. The key is to never stop trying. Perseverance is another main key to becoming a woman of substance. 
 

It’s A Great Start…Now What

We have to find the desire to become substantial women. Women that other people look up to and can learn from. We also have got to realize that failure is nothing more than a stepping stone to success. Not a defining characteristic of who we are, or who we will become.
Contentment is a great place to be but sometimes we become stagnant. We lose the forward momentum that allows us to grow into a more complete version of ourselves. Now that you have the desire and motivation to live a more substantial, purpose-driven life, take some time, go through the steps and enjoy the journey you have found yourself on. 

What Do You Think?

I would love to know what you think about this. What steps have you taken to lead a more substantial life? Have you been inspired by a strong substantial woman? What was it about them that inspired you? You the form below to let me know your thoughts. I would love to help you share your story.

 


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36 thoughts on “The Substantial Woman: Finding Your Inner Substance

    • Mary Post author

      Hi Robin,
      Thank you for your input. I thought that baby steps is pretty important as well.
      That is a family motto around here. Baby steps. And the reason baby steps is so important is that this is a lifetime project. We want to always leave room in our lives for change and growth. I think taking giant leaps would be too terrifying to warrant any real change. And if we are too afraid to move forward then we are right back where we started.
      Mary Moodie
      http://www.karmicallyscripted.com

    • Mary Post author

      Hi Sarah,
      Guess what…There seems to be something that I forgot to add to this post. But I will let you know something…ready?…there is never going to be a definite answer for you or anyone. Yes, this idea is about change but it is also about growth and that is never ending. Remember, it doesn’t matter where you start, as long as you start. If you would like to talk it out, you can always reach me through my Facebook messenger https://www.facebook.com/KarmicallyScripted/. Good luck on your quest.
      Mary Moodie
      http://www.karmicallyscripted.com

  • Corinne & Kirsty

    What does being a substantial woman even mean? setting a definition is like setting a standard and then imposing something on women. women should be all free to be whatever they want xx corinne

    • Mary Post author

      Hi Corinne & Kirsty,
      Thank you for your thoughtful reply. The concept of being a substantial woman is a personal one, therefore never a set definition. And one of the beautiful things about starting at on a personal journey is that it is all about what you want to do or be. This was never intended to pigeonhole anyone. It is just another tool for those of us feeling stagnant and looking for ideas on how to create change in their lives. The only intended imposition here is finding happiness and contentment.

    • Mary Post author

      Hi Heather,
      That is so great. There is something to be said about being in a strong and secure place in life. Did you ever find yourself stuck along the way? Like no matter what, you just couldn’t find your place? If so, what did you do to get over that hump? I think that would be helpful for some of my readers.
      Mary Moodie
      http://www.karmicallyscripted.com

    • Mary Post author

      Thank you, Amber. Failure is inevitable but we all struggle with it. And sometimes we let it define us. But the wise of us know that it is temporary and that every moment is a chance to try again.
      Mary

  • Esse D

    I understand what you’ve said here completely. I too have searched for substance and I’m nearing the end of my search. I feel like I’m in a good place. I commend you!

    • Mary Post author

      Thank you, Esse. So happy to hear that you are doing well with it. I don’t really see an end in sight for me but then again, I am just starting. I look forward to finding myself at the end if there is one for me. I guess we will all find out together.
      Mary

  • Claudia Krusch

    I always do better with slow change. I try to set smaller goals that I can achieve easier that will lead to my bigger goal.

    • Mary Post author

      That is so smart Claudia. Like I said in the post when you accomplish the little things, the big things seem to fall into place. Instead of “get more organized” I try to start with, “clean out the junk drawers.” It may take longer but it works.

    • Mary Post author

      Thank you for sharing that Ophelia, (love the name BTW). Confidence is such an important thing. Today I am overflowing with it. Yesterday, not so much. But I still keep “faking it til I make it”.
      Mary

  • Cristina Leau

    Interesting article. I’m trying to find myself and where am I suppose to be as we speak. This is helping with my process.

    • Mary Post author

      Thank you, Cristina, I am glad this has helped you. If you ever need to talk through things with someone new, you can always reach me on any of my social media platforms. Good luck in your journey!
      Mary

    • Mary Post author

      ABSOLUTELY Nicole! We live in a world of instant gratification and it is discouraging when we do not get results fast. But, as long as we keep moving forward then there is no way to fail. I guess what I mean is that the only failure is giving up and even that can be temporary if you chose to start again.
      Thank you for your encouragement.
      Mary

  • Nina

    I think I’m alway trying to put these into play. Somedays are better and some days are worse. I love how you’re honest about failure. You just get back up again and keep going.

    • Mary Post author

      HI Nina,
      I used to beat myself about when I failed. It was a huge issue. But I think a lot of us do that when we are younger. We think we know it all and when the world tells us that we don’t, we try to fight it. As we get older we realize the world is right and learn how to grow from it.
      Thank you for your thought.
      Mary

  • David Elliott

    Fully committing to something is so important. You definitely need to do that with any goal or you won’t accomplish it. And then being prepared for failure as it will ultimately lead to success.

    • Mary Post author

      You are so right, David. You almost have to go into something new with the mindset of “I am committing to fail but also to try again”. There is no way to do something new without making mistakes. But it’s the mistakes we learn from the most.

  • sondra

    That is a new one to think about. With substance most probably think about what makes them fill fulfilled. Most of the time people are wondering about what makes them happy or not.

    • Mary Post author

      Hi Sondra,
      That’s true. We tend to think of happiness as something tangible. I think of happiness as a side effect of living a substantial life. If we are living a life that we are proud of then happiness just falls into place. And because what we need out of life changes, then this concept will always be a work in progress. You will always room to grow.
      Thank you for your insight.
      Mary Moodie

  • Blair villanueva

    I prefer of not over thinking and go with the flow and be observant. You will eventually find what you are looking for, because of relaxed mind.

    • Mary Post author

      Hi Blair,
      That is what I had been doing as well. For me, I just wanted a change. Something tangible to work for. Different strokes for different folks, right? The main thing is to keep trying, learning and growing.

    • Mary Post author

      Hi Lena,
      Nothing wrong with being a hardworking woman. I am usually all about the family life. I started thinking one day about what people might remember about me when I am gone. That is one of the things that started me on this path. I am proud of my family and the mom that I am but I would like to be remembered for something more too. If you ever need someone to talk through some goals you can reach me on messenger over on Facebook. https://www.facebook.com/KarmicallyScripted/

  • Shaheen Khan

    I liked reading this. I think change and goal setting are really important and so is empowering oneself throughout the journey of life. However I feel being a substantial person shouldn’t be slotted to a particular gender.Loved all the great tips. For me my faith empowers and adds value and substance to my life and person.

    • Mary Post author

      Hi Shaheen,
      I get what you are saying. We should all work on being good, substantial people. Maybe that will be a different post 😉

  • Chemady

    People celebrate success more than failure. The most important thing is to learn from our failures and not dwell in it. One step at a time does it all.

    • Mary Post author

      Hi Chemandy. I couldn’t agree more. The way I see it, failure is a success too. It means that you tried something. How can you go wrong with that!

  • Rebecca Swenor

    This is a great post on what a substantial woman is about. It is so true that just doing is all we have to do to achieve our goals and to not give up. Being a Substantial woman is one that is strong and knows what she wants along with going for it. One that never gives up. Thanks for sharing the information and your thoughts.

    • Mary Post author

      Hi Rebecca,
      Thank you for your comments. I think you are one of the ones who understand where I am coming from with this. The only thing I see a little bit differently is the part about a substantial woman knowing what she wants. For it is about just knowing that you want something different. It is about enjoying the journey without a destination in mind and because of that, actually being able to enjoy the ride, so to speak. What do you think?
      Mary Moodie